Contact

If there is something you would like to know about sexuality or gender,  I’ll be happy to tell  you what I know and/or do the research for you. I am also always open to suggestions and ideas, and would generally love to hear from you if you have anything to say about the blog!

You can leave your questions, suggestions, comments, and ideas in the “thoughts” area below, or contact me directly via email at queerguesscode@gmail.com.

Are you interested in writing a piece for the blog or even becoming a full time author? Please email me with some information about yourself and a sample of what you might write about! I am looking for some eager collaborators!

Please send me any relevant quotes, images, or cartoons that you find or create and I will consider them for the media page.

Hate mail will be ignored, and unhelpful, provocative comments deleted.

23 responses to “Contact

  1. Hi Anna! I am loving your blog so far! I’m wondering if you can do a post about women in male dominant career fields like engineering. That doesn’t have a lot to do with gender expression, but certainly has to do with societally normal gender roles. Thanks and keep up the good work!

  2. Anna,
    I don’t know much about the Men’s Rights Movement, but it strikes me that Patriarchy is not a faceless phenomenon, it is a political system, as is Matriarchy. Women’s sufferage was a reaction to Patriarchy, and was initially about the right to vote, run for office, etc. In the many decades since those basic goals were accomplished, it is probably fair to say that feminism has evolved in some ways that are detrimental to men. At the same time, the economic value of superior physical size and strength has all but vanished, so men are (collectively) staggering under the weight of a double whammy.
    A whole raft of american males in your generation have retreated from vital areas like college admissions. That is a serious problem for all of us. I’m not saying feminists are culpable for men’s problems. I am merely suggesting that we need to acknowledge their problems, and try to be part of a solution.

    • Hi Becky! Thanks for your thoughts. On the topic of patriarchy being a “faceless phenomenon:” I understand that it’s a political system, however I call it faceless because it is not an intentional system (anymore, I don’t believe) like democracy or capitalism, for example, which people consciously choose to uphold and explicitly defend. As far as acknowledging men’s problems: I’m not sure if I believe that feminism’s evolution is the cause of them, but as I continue to study and explore, I will certainly consider that possibility. I’m all for supporting men and trying to be part of the solution to all (or most, realistically) problems, but I don’t think it is the job of feminism, as a movement, to get behind solving men’s problems, since that would defeat the purpose of having a movement for women’s problems. It is in the nature of patriarchy to prioritize solutions to men’s problems already, however the problems men face at the hands of patriarchy are often left untended, in which case feminism’s anti-patriarchy movement would hopefully benefit and become part of the solution for men as well. From what I have seen of men’s complaints about feminism, I am not convinced that feminism has been detrimental to men in any un-reasonable way. By un-reasonable I mean that even though the evolution and growth of feminism is certainly bound to be an uncomfortable adjustment, due to the inevitable power struggle and ego-bruising/building, the transition from dominant/subordinate culture to full equality of power and value is a necessary one. When one is accustomed but oblivious to privilege, its removal does not feel like an equalizer but like an oppressor. Only information can help make that process easier.

  3. Hi Anna! I have two questions. I was talking to a Christian friend about men being heads of households, and I argued that the idea that all households should have male heads undermines female agency and competence. That would transfer over to other areas like the workplace, since women who can’t co-lead families would not be able to be presidents of companies. I actually don’t think there should be an official head, since that would make the dominant person more dominant and the submissive one more submissive, and the whole idea perpetuates abusive relationships. I was wondering if you had any thoughts? Should there be a head of the household?

  4. Oh my second question was about the idea that gender is socially constructed. To what extent do you think it is? What about hormones? Transgendered people?

  5. Hey Anna! Your blog is amazing, so amazing that I have been telling people about it and one of them wants to feature it on their blog! The director of Love is Respect wants me to write a short summary as a part of a post on their site. Just wanted to let you know and if there are any concerns or questions please let me know!

  6. Hi Anna, I stumbled upon your blog and couldn’t stop reading. You covered a lot of topics I have studied and researched myself and I wanted to pass along one of my favorite resources, in case you hadn’t already found it on your own. (Careful, it’s a wormhole of wonderful info!)

    The Media Education Foundation (http://www.mediaed.org) has a lot of current (early as 2011 and 2012) documentaries and educational videos that cover and overlap a lot of the topics you cover. They also have full length previews for individual use. My two favorites are “Bro Code” and “Codes of Gender”.

  7. You are awesome. I am so glad I came across your blog. My beliefs are very similar to yours, but I would never be able to articulate my thoughts as well as you do. Your deep intellect, crazy hyperactive mind, determined rebellious spirit are expressed through in this blog. And I love it. I wish more people thought like you do. Though I was very pleased to read many of the comments on your posts- seems like a lot of people share your ideas and beliefs.
    I deeply appreciate how you express such strong opinions in a calm calculated manner, when I am sure you are actually extremely passionate about them. When somebody says anything incredibly stupid, contemptuous or narrow-minded to me, I can’t control myself. I lash out at them, get very aggressive. I wish I could be like you.
    Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts 🙂

  8. I also have a request for you. I would love it if you could write about BDSM and Feminism, and how they coexist. I am a BDSM submissive, and I am a feminist. I struggled with my submissiveness for a very long time, because I hated myself for feeling that way when I feel so strongly about feminism. It is just a couple of years back that I met somebody who explained it to me, and helped me understand and
    accept this part of myself. I am quite dominant in day to day life (I don’t say real life, since my submission to my dominant is a very real part of my life as well), I have always been a leader- whether it is in a group discussion or a group project at Uni, or planning a trip with friends and family. It is always me who orders, me who asks for, and pays the bill at the end of the meal when I go out with boys. But with a dominant man, a naturally dominant man, I am very different. I will do as whatever he wants me to do, whenever, wherever and however he wants. I won’t even eat or go to bed without his permission, I will not use furniture without his permission, and I will obey him without question, without delay. I will go to great extents to fulfil his most random whim, even if it causes me great pain or discomfort. He will decide everything for me. From something as small as if I am to eat white or brown bread, to something like what I should wear, and who I should be friends with. This will sound strange and preposterous to somebody who doesn’t understand this dynamic deeply.
    I submit to my dominant of my own free will. I do it because I want to, because I feel a need to. Because that is how I express my love, and that is how I feel his love for me. It isn’t domination if it is forced, it is abuse. A dominant always has the best interest of his submissive in mind. As my dominant always says, there is a world of difference between hurt and harm. I know he will give me great pain, because i want to feel the pain too, in a way it frees me. But I know he will not damage me. I trust hi. Trust is the most important part of BDSM. And it is also very important for everything to be safe, sane and consensual.
    I know there is huge scope for people to abuse this. I have myself met a lot of people who claim to be “Dominants” but are actually abusers looking for easy prey. A dominant earns trust, respect and love before he starts to dominate. He expects you to obey because you want to, not because you have to or because you are scared of him, and he cares about you very deeply. He loves you, cherishes you and wants to protect you from the rest of the world, even from yourself. He also respects you as a person, your talents, your dreams, your ambitions and recognises how special you are. He accepts your submission as a very special gift, not as something you owe him. and that is why he feels responsible for you and wants to protect you. This is very different from chivalry. When I go out with my dominant, I open the door for him as many times as he does for me, I carry his bags as often as he carries mine, and I order and pay for food/drinks as often as he does. We laugh and joke together. We talk and cry together. We cuddle, we are best friends, we are two people who are extremely comfortable with each other, completely bared to each other, and completely loved by each other. But that doesn’t negate the fact that if he says ‘on your knees’ I will be on my knees in a flash, no matter what place, what time it is. If he wants me to give him a foot massage, I will be annoyed with myself for being unable to anticipate his need and offer it to him before bring asked to. Natural, real dominant are rare.
    I realise that all this time I have been referring to the dominant as male and the submissive as female. That is only because I am a submissive female and I have a male dominant. But the same dynamic, the same rules apply to any D/s duo or trio, or whatever, no matter what their gender or sexuality. Dominants and submissives are not equal. But men and women are. Unless, like me, you believe that women are a teeny-weeny bit superior to men.
    I know this is a very very long comment, and I don’t know if you will even read it. I am sorry if you find the subject matter offensive. I just thought more people need to be made aware of the different lifestyle preferences people have. So that it is easier for people like me to just go out there and say I am a submissive, without the risk of random idiots coming up to me and saying ‘Get naked’, believing I am public property without a say or an opinion, meant to obey everybody.
    Thank you so much 🙂

    • Hello, blogger! I’m so sorry for not responding sooner. I’ve been a bit MIA lately. I really appreciate you sharing your experiences. I haven’t written about BDSM because I don’t have much experience with it or in-depth knowledge of the various dynamics. It sounds like something you would be more apt at writing than I! Would you be interested in writing a guest-post for the blog on this topic? If not, would you be willing to have your comment published as a post? Thanks again for sharing in such detail. I agree that this is a very interesting, relevant, and important thing to discuss here. 🙂

  9. I am very intriqued by your blog. I am a student at American University studing health and women’s, gender, & sexuality studies. I was wondering if you ever had someone serve as a guest poster on your blog and if you would consider collaborating with me to do guest posts. You can find my blog at http://inwhatsanity.wordpress.com/ Please let me know if you are interested. You can contact me via my blog or email at shell.e.montgomery@gmail.com.

    Thank you!!

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